When will I find out the truth?
When you ask. Ask Him (Him who? The One Who Said, "I Am the Way The Truth and The Life") in your own words. Out loud, like you really mean it. Something like, 'God if you are really real and you are really out there and you really care about me, I would like to get to know you.' Expect an answer, He really is God and He is listening. This is the very reason why God made man in the first place, to have someone to talk with. He will send someone by to help and explain it to you. The answers will come bit by bit as you can deal with it. Not all the answers may seem plain at first, but here a little and there a little it will all begin to become clear to you. Take some of the faith that you have used all these years to believe all of the lies and apply them to the truth instead.